iVent

It took one hug from a sister to make me realize so many different things at once. About 72 or 73 different feelings entered my being at once. You will not finish reading this note. If you feel like finishing it, save it for a day where you have nothing to do and you want to know a lot about me. I am going to write everything i am thinking and everything i want to say right now. My iPod is on shuffle right now, i will let you know by putting in parentheses what song is playing even in mid sentence when it changes. (Brighter Than Sunshine-Aqualung).

I have so many people in my life who influence who i am and how my life for one day will turn out. Today, i could have played in a St. Patrick's Day tennis tournament. Instead i had to work on a spanish project with my close friends Bryce, Nisha, Tyler, Diana and Melissa. (Not Ready To Love-Rufus Wainwright) It was a productive get-together nonetheless, but i was a tad upset about not getting to play in the tournament. Shortly after, I went to see the movie "Madea Goes To Jail" with Bryce, Sarah, Nisha, and Zach. It was hilarious, i am going to the doctor tomorrow to see if i broke a rib from laughing so hard. After seeing this movie, i had this urge to make T-shirts that say FREE MADEA on them. This idea came about because of a scene in (Hey! Is That A Ninja Up There?-Minus The Bear) the Madea movie we saw. We embarked on an epic journey to target, we being the two St. Clairs, Sarah and myself. We were unsuccesful in the end, but Sarah and I will make these Tshirts before the break is over. Bryce dropped Sarah and me off at Sarah's place where we devoured chicken and goofed off. As we got in the car to take the 45 second journey to my house, we both realized at somewhat at the same time, she was leaving for New York City the next day while i stayed in the little town of Anniston, Alabama. (Where The Story Ends-The Fray) Our intersession starts tomorrow. There is a 7th and 8th grade trip, a 9th grade trip to DC, and the sophomores and juniors and seniors all have the option to shadow a profession. This year, instead of shadowing, you could go to NYC or Germany. Both trips were too expensive, i didn't get to go. Sarah is going however, to NYC. The last time i was away from Sarah for a long period of time, this one being a week or possibly two, was two summers ago. (Let It Out-Starrfadu) Most people know that Sarah and i are practically attached at the hip, where she is, I am. Where I am, she is. We are sisters. As i got out of the car to go into my home and not see Sarah for a while, i realized how much not only her, but so many other poeple who influence my life. I gave Sarah a huge hug and we did our loud, fake cries together. She drove away. (Bohemian Rhapsody-Queen [this is depressing because Sarah loves this song]) Sarah and i have done too many crazy things together. For those of you who don't know, here are some:
-Harrassing a pizza delivery guy
- Buggy Races in Target
- Bowling with frozen food
- Skateboarding in places of business.
- Ordering a box of fried rice, just a box.
- Making Shadow puppets in the movie theater from the projector.
- Shouting at golfer's on cider ridge: "Where'd you get that shot? THE THRIFT STORE?"
- Finding new trails on Private Property where we were banned from.
- Baking things with meaning
- Cooking Shows
- Building snowmen in target out of toilet paper and aluminum foil
- "Being Psychotic" Those are only a few. (Stars-Switchfoot [definitely mine and Sarah's theme song]) In summary, Sarah is the Sidewalk to my Chalk, and she is traveling 5 states north of Alabama, therefore depressing me. Sarah, one word: Buckets. (This Ain't A Surfin' Movie-Minus The Bear)

I play music. Today, i downloaded a software where i can record what i play and edit it how ever i want. I recorded a few things i made up for the piano. I love to think i can play the drums. I can keep a beat, but i am no professional. I am working on a musical project with my good friend, Ben Coleman. According to our youth pastor, we will be the next Beatles. Music is really my life other than being psychotic. I play 1st trumpet for my school. I want to learn guitar so badly. I play little bass. I can express myself so easily through music, whether i am playing it or i am listening to it. I love to sing. Without boasting, i do not think i am a HORRIBLE singer. I will not sing for other people or in front of other people. With a large group of friends, maybe. If anyone ever needs to find "an escape" and they have no money to travel or are too lazy, sit down at a piano, press a key, and follow it. Take a guitar and strum it until it makes you smile. Hit a drum so hard that the drum head tears. (Prayer of the Refugee-Rise Against) A few people in this world know how to "calm me down" if i am scared or i need to be held back. If you are ever in this position, sing to me, play me music, put headphones in my ears and blast music. I will instantly go into my "calm place". The greatest musician i have ever met (so far) is a tie between Mr. Dude and Seth Kennedy. Mr. Dude is my nickname for Mr. Harris, my former band teacher. He taught me everything i know about reading and writing music. He taught me everything i know about the trumpet. He gave me a true love for music in the 7th grade. Seth Kennedy is a role model to me in the music world. He plays every instrument known to man. I call him the guru of music. He taught me whatever it is i know on drums, he taught me bass, and he is still teaching me. (Philosophy-Ben Folds) Seth is a great influence in my life, i am "quite into him". He is in Colorado right now.(Rules and Regulations-Rufus Wainwright)

I like to play tennis. I've been playing tennis for about 6 years. I've learned all that i know about tennis from Raphael Rodriguez. I've seen Andy Roddick, Andre Agassi, James Blake, and Swiss guys play live, but none compare to how cool i think Raph is. He just always is smiling when he plays, he knows what he's doing. He gave me the coolest nickname out of any nickname i've ever gotten: Lil Smit. Raph has taught me a lot about life, not only tennis, throughout our 6 years of his teaching me. (Pieces-Sum41) I always remember John Fraser in my first year of playing. He would let us play in any condition, too hot too cold raining, you name it. If we utterly shanked a shot, he did this "monkey noise" that always let everyone around you know that someone just screwed up. He was a cool guy. (Washed By The Water-Needtobreathe).

I am a strong follower of God. I attend First United Methodist Church in Anniston. There, i am known by many. There are probably around 30 people in my youth group, and it is a family. Everybody Loves Everybody. I've been on many trips with that youth group to many places. Kentucky, Tennesee, cold places in Alabama. I was a Christian for a while, or so i thought. I always belived in God and i trusted His word with my life. But two years ago at a church retreat in one of the colder places in Alabama called Behold, i gave my life to Him. I was brought to my knees and filled with tears. Since that night, i've been completely attached to Him and His works in my life. I don't like trying to "convert" people to Christianity. I've never been "called" to go up to someone and scream Jesus into their face. If someone does not share my beliefs, i respect it and i keep quiet about it. You believe what you believe, i believe what i believe. iPray. (Holiday-BLG) William Murray, my youth director is someone i admire above all. He is a strong Christian with a past sort of like mine. He loves music and the same kinds as i do. He's effected many things i do in my life, where i try my hardest. He has many "words of wisdom". He's like a teenager my age and is a lot like me, i find it easy to talk to him. If you are ever in trouble, he will help you no doubt.

I love having a history with people. For example: Bryce St. Clair. Bryce has been like my brother since Kindergarten, and we are still going strong. I can tell him anything, and he always has my back. Somewhat of a sophisticated bodygaurd. (Give It All- Rise Against) We love telling people that we've been best friends/siblings for forever. "It all started at the doll house, we had no one to talk to so we sort of paired up." Mattie Crisp and i have been like sisters since 5th grade at Oxford in Mrs. Hughes's class. She's the "brains of the operation", as in when i do stupid stuff, she keeps me out of trouble and tells me why all of my "genius" plans won't work. I admire that of her because she has always been able to make sense and still have a blast in every crazy adventure we go on, whether it's just the two of us, or us plus Sarah, or all of HiFi.TAYLOR BELLIN. I had to put his name in caps so he could find it, since i told him i would put him in here. I've been pretty tight friends with Taylor since "diaper days" which is code for "we don't know how long we've been best friends, but it's been a long time." Taylor and my dad work together so we would hang out a lot more back in the day. Now we talk a lot more on FBIM and any other random times we see each other. He could be the (Show Me What I'm Looking For-Carolina Liar) most random person i know.

I like being funny. When people laugh at something i do, even if it is embarrassing, i find it as an accomplishment. I have recieved the nickname "Jester" from being funny. There are a lot of funny people in the world. Dane Cook is funny. Demitri Martin is funny. I think when people make me laugh, i will never forget them. I smile when i see people who make me laugh. Laughter is the coolest natural high. I love how every person in the world has a different kind of laugh. That is a good way to tell people apart. Mr. Moore has the "joker laugh" which i can guarantee no one who hears it will ever forget.

One of my biggest goals in life is to spray paint a mural on the side of a brick building in the historical downtown region of a small town. Such as an old building in Downtown Anniston. I would go all out with it, with the gas mask and cool graffiti tagging clothes. Scaling down the side of the building would be a lot of fun. The mural would be famous. It would be abstract art in some areas, then full on Michaelangelo style on another. Just diverse in every area. (Confines of Gravity-Playradioplay!) If i could build a city, everything would be awesome. The city would be named Diverse. Diverse City. The main town would be a surrounding circle, it would circle around the homes where people live. The exits would not be at a North, East, South, or West point but in between all of them. All shops, stores and resteraunts, will be different. No two places will be alike.

I love being different. I hate being the center of attention, but i love being different and i love standing out. It's like going into a crowd of 1000 people wearing black and blue and wearing neon orange. That would bring a smile to my face. I hate being a statistic. As much as i hate it though, i've realized i will always be a statistic. For example, i got the gardasil shot to be out of the statistic of women with cervical cancer, but by getting the shot, i became part of the statistic of those preventing it. I will always be in a statistic, no matter how much i hate being grouped together with others.

I am part of the coolest support group ever. We call ourselves HiFi Society. (Satellite- Guster) HiFi stands for High-Fidelity or high faith. The support group is for those in my school who want to have someone to talk to about being around friends who smoke, drink, etc. or those who are pressured to do such acts. The support group is to talk to each other about why we shouldn't partake in that stuff. We named ourselves that, because there are only a few of us that we know of and we need each other when we are all surrounded by that kind of pressure. We even signed a sheet promising to abide by the rules of rejection to such acts. When i am around those people i feel safe and secure in the fact that no crap like that will enter my life. If you want to be apart of this group, tell me, i'll be glad to help. Or if you are a friend of mine at a different school and want something like that, i'll be glad to help you get something started. (Heard the World-O.A.R.) I am afraid of thunder. I am afraid of clowns. I hate being isolated and i hate being in freakishly large crowds. I hate it when people look down on me in a demeaning manner against my vertical challenges. I HATE HATE HATE being lifted. When someone lifts me off the ground, i feel like drop kicking them. Very few have been successful, and those who have, i will never forgive for that act. If i could change anything about myself, i would definitely be a few inches taller. I love 1900s history. Anything before or after is in my disintrest.(Looking For Angels-Skillet) I love painting and writing. I am very artistic and musical, and i love that. I love hugs, i really love hugs. I love being loud. I love running when i can breathe. I love to breathe, and trust me you take it for granted. I love sharpies. I am very skilled with sharpies. For christmas, Sarah got me sharpies, and it made my day. I love to ripstik. I hate being stereotyped and i hate stereotypes. I really hate research papers. I love poetry, especially writing it. I love songs that wake me up to reality. I love Switchfoot and Jon Foreman with an unhealthy and obsessive passion. I really love the ichthus sign and what it represents. I love surfing and skimboarding. I am afraid of being hated. I love taking pictures. (Raw Sugar-Metric) I could be a photographer when i am older. Or a musician, or a painter. Or something of that nature.

I could create a super human by taking characteristics from so many people in my life. Example: I would take Sarah's ability to be loud and care free. Mattie's ability to stand out and love life. Bryce's philosophy and train of thought. Diana's genius music skills. Devin's amazing music finding habits, wit, sarcasm, and the ability to be cool. Seth's ability to play every instrument, be chill, be himself, and love so many things. William M.'s love for God. Jon Foreman's mind as a whole. Alyssa and Katherine's ability to survive without my in Birmingham (haha)! (I Saw The Light-David Crowder Band) Ansel Adams's photography skills. Shel Silverstein amazing poetry skills. Jim Davis's cartooning ability. Taylor Bellin's randomoscity, and yes, that is a word. Neil Armstrong's memory of walking on the moon. Mrs. Senter's excessive happiness. The ability to fear nothing. And much much much more.

I have this pretty odd family. All families are odd, so i guess we are just part of that statistic. My family can be compared with a Kindergartener's art project. My dad is a general surgeon at RMC and he's pretty cool. He works a lot so i see him every now and then. He makes wooden crosses that are so beast. We always joke saying he should open a table at the Lobsterfest one year and sell them, but i think he really should. He is a genius. My dad is the paper for our "Art Project" because he really is the base of our family. Without everything he works for to keep us going, we would be shredded paper on the classroom floor. My mom and my dad were highschool sweethearts. They both went to donoho, and had Ms. Wingo (Dead!-MCR). Creepy to think about. Anyway, my mom is the one who got me started in tennis. Even though my dad makes the money in our family, she is really the Elmer's glue of the operation. I will now call her my glue from now on. She makes the food, cleans, washes clothes, puts up with my siblings and myself, and she STILL loves us, as does my father. She is very funny, even though she knows she is but thinks we don't know she is, SHE IS. I can see myself being like her even though we are polar opposites in most cases, but because she cares so much about so many people and hasn't killed us yet, i admire her. I have an older sister, Margaret, who is 21 and goes to Alabama. She is one of the coolest people i've ever met. She is the smartest person i know. And she can balance being smart and successful with being beautiful and social. I see my sister having this freak awesome future that i could never live up to, but i have defininitely grasped that and i'm ok with it. She cares a lot about me. When she comes home for a day or two, i actually love it, whereas when she was in high school we couldn't stand each other. I remember crying when we drove home after unpacking with her at her dorm her freshman year of college. I'm honestly excited to see what she becomes. (Drive-Incubus) My sister is the glitter that adds to the beauty of our collage. I have a little brother too. His name is Robert and he's 14 now. Robert is an interesting story. He has ADHD and is more a handful than our new puppy Bailey is. Robert and i used to be like toast and butter when we were much younger. But i started to mature and he started to have issues. Our family i think has accepted that he is difficult, and we still love him for that. Even though my brother is a flame most days, i don't think i've ever met someone who could care so much about anyone. I can tell when he truly loves someone, and i know he loves all of us. He loves his friends and he loves who he is, and that's just fine with me. My brother is the paper shreds that will be glued to the paper for colorful effect. Then there's me. I'm the "different" one in my opinion. My dad and sister are brilliant, my mom is a superhero, my brother is a bi-polar ball of wonder, and i'm the signature at the bottom of the collage. The kindergarten signature, barely able to be read. I am the one who people question when they see me "all grown up". People know how successful my sister is, people have heard the stories of my brother, but not many people know who i am in the Smith clan until they meet me. I'm the "drummer girl" or the "artist". I'm different from all 4 of my family members, but i love that so much. I think my family appreciates who i am and that i am different. It is all part of our collage. (Awakening-Switchfoot)

More to come in later notes, but tonight i sleep, depsite the piece of insomnia i hold. Peace and Grace.